Carers

If Someone You Know Is Self-Harming

If you find out that someone you care about is self-harming, you may feel upset, shocked or angry. This is a natural response. We hope that this site will help you understand a little bit about your loved one’s behaviour, and give you some ideas as to how to help them.

The most precious things you can offer are acceptance and support. Let the person know you understand that their self-harm is helping them to cope at the moment. They are not ‘bad’ or ‘mad’ for doing it. You could invite the person to talk about their feelings, or invite them to phone you if they are having a difficult time.

But remember, they are the ones who are self-harming, and the decision to stop is theirs to make – you cannot make someone stop self-harming. Don’t try to take the responsibility for stopping them hurting themselves, because you can’t. Only offer as much support as you can cope with, and try and find a network of friends who will support you and perhaps pray with you.

We pray that this site will be a blessing to you, and give you some comfort that self-harm is not forever. If you feel that we’ve missed anything, pleaseĀ email us.