Bio

When I decided to set up Adullam Ministries, I knew that telling my story would play a huge part in the vision I had. Sharing our stories plays such an important part in helping people understand the truth that is in the Bible, which is why I wrote my book Secret Scars and speak as much as possible about God’s work in my own life. I have always felt very strongly that, as Christians, we have a tendency to hide and say that everything is all right. We fear what people might say if we admit our struggles – whether it will be seen as weakness, evidence of unforgiven sin, or even demon possession. We forget that Jesus, our role model, was at times sad, angry, tempted and despairing, despite his relationship with the Father. The Bible is quite clear that we will struggle, but that it is through our own struggles that we help other people. My heart has always been that people become more open about their struggles, whatever they may be, so that we can support each other as brothers and sisters.

“…we shared with you not only God’s Good News but our own lives too.” (1 Thessalonians 2:8).

When I decided to set up Adullam Ministries, I knew that telling my story would play a huge part in the vision I had. Sharing our stories plays such an important part in helping people understand the truth that is in the Bible, which is why I wrote my book Secret Scars and speak as much as possible about God’s work in my own life. I have always felt very strongly that, as Christians, we have a tendency to hide and say that everything is all right. We fear what people might say if we admit our struggles – whether it will be seen as weakness, evidence of unforgiven sin, or even demon possession. We forget that Jesus, our role model, was at times sad, angry, tempted and despairing, despite his relationship with the Father. The Bible is quite clear that we will struggle, but that it is through our own struggles that we help other people. My heart has always been that people become more open about their struggles, whatever they may be, so that we can support each other as brothers and sisters.

My story has a very normal beginning. I grew up comfortably in a nice house in a town on the suburbs of London, with both parents, a pesky brother and a good education. However, throughout school I struggled with very low self-esteem, made worse by bullying. When I was sixteen I developed an eating disorder that would last into my twenties.

At the beginning of my sixth form I started going to church, and soon afterwards gave my life to Christ. Although my outlook on life completely changed, I found that I was still struggling in private, too embarrassed to tell anyone because I thought being a Christian meant that you should automatically be happy.

At the age of eighteen, at University, I started cutting myself in an effort to deal with my emotions, and ended up in a psychiatric ward. I was forced to leave University and go home to my parents, feeling completely unable to cope with life and an utter failure. I spent the next year working in low paid jobs, but living and breathing my self-harm, never really engaging with the real world. My depression was so bad that I felt as if there were no hope.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6)

There is no quick fix when it comes to recovering from self-harm and all that goes with it. All I knew was that I wanted to follow God. My faith that God existed never swayed, but I always wondered when he was going to heal me. It took me a long time to learn that his healing power is not always demonstrated in immediate and miraculous ways. Counselling, medication, an understanding psychiatrist, and help from friends were all used by God to help me break free from the cycle of self-harm. Had he healed me immediately, as I had wanted, I would have missed the lessons he has taught me, which now enable me to help others. There is also no point in our lives at which we become exactly what God created us to be. We are all works in progress, dealing with whatever life throws at us.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future'” (Jeremiah 29:11)

I always knew that I wanted to work with people who found life difficult for whatever reason, and in 2001 I left the youth organisation where I had been overseeing pastoral care to study counselling at London Bible College with Waverley Abbey House. From then on, I’ve continued to expand my knowledge and understanding of emotional and mental health issues, and found that my passion is for teaching, speaking and writing on the issues with which I was so personally familiar earlier in my life.

I married John in 2004, and now live in Rugby, Warwickshire, with our two children and two cats.