Hi I am new here

For and about self harmers / people with other issues

Hi I am new here

Postby Charlie » Wed Jul 16, 2014 11:42 pm

Sorry
Last edited by Charlie on Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Eppie » Thu Jul 17, 2014 5:46 am

Hi Charlie,
Welcome to the forum, and we'll done for posting... I know that can take a lot of effort sometimes.
Sorry to hear that you are struggling so much at the moment.
Have you got friends or family who know what is going on for you and can help? Or any support from medical staff?
E x
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Charlie » Thu Jul 17, 2014 6:05 am

Sorry
Last edited by Charlie on Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Hash » Thu Jul 17, 2014 4:36 pm

Welcome Charlie,

I hope you find us a friendly and supportive bunch.

what form does your self harming take? don't worry if you don't want to say.

How do you find your depression has improved with the medication? Often it can take a long time for medications to work and depression is such a hard thing to overcome.

The cycle of self harming is complex and the reasons are different for every one of us, why do you think you self harm?

I am sorry you are worried about the holidays coming up, is there any chance your church is doing a holiday bible club this summer that the kids can go to.

Great that you have a supportive husband and I hope he will continue to support you.

Is there any chance you could ask for some extra support in the form of counselling, CBT or Therapy of some sort.

Hash
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Keziah » Thu Jul 17, 2014 6:34 pm

Hi, glad you are getting medication sorted. I have a young child and know the dread of keeping just one child entertained for 6 weeks. What helps me is to use a calendar - I have printed out a page of whole 6 weeks. On it I have coloured the days dh is off work ( annual leave and bank holiday). Then put in any appointments or activities planned. Then I can see here the more difficult times are. Would something like that help - then you can ask your church family to maybe be with you at those times - go out with children, organise play dates etc.

Agree church holiday club is good idea. Also are there any activity clubs running in your area in the holiday? Often sport related and can wear children out!!!

Kezzie
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Hash » Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:00 pm

How are you doing today Charlie?

Hash
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby sally » Fri Jul 18, 2014 8:41 pm

Hello Charlie,

I just wanted to add my welcome to the site too.

I'm sorry things are feeling so difficult for you at the moment. On this site, there is a list of ideas of things people could try in an attempt to avoid self-harming. Some ideas you might dismiss instantly but others you might think are worth trying. What helps one person but not help another but the list is quite long and varied. It often needs to be something that gives a different strong reaction because the thoughts to harm are so compulsive and strong. Holding an ice cube against your skin in one I remember as well as splashing your face with very cold water.

I pray you do get some really helpful therapeutic support as well as the loving support from your family and church. Try not to beat yourself up after an incident or worry about 'letting others down'. You survived the best way you could with how awful you felt at the time. It's something you don't want to stay doing but for now that's all that seemed possible.

We'll be praying for you too,
Sally
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Eppie » Fri Jul 18, 2014 10:09 pm

Hi Charlie,
Really glad you have support around you. Don't beat yourself up...you're not letting them down, you're just struggling.
Kezzie, I love the colour plan...no kids here but I have been using a big coloured spreadsheet at work to get through some big things!
E x
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Charlie » Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:31 pm

Sorry
Last edited by Charlie on Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Charlie
 
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby sally » Sun Jul 20, 2014 2:39 pm

Hello Charlie,

sorry to hear that today is feeling hard with strong urges. why not try holding an ice cube against your skin - it really hurts but wont leave any scar? It might not help you not hurt, but if you were willing, you could give it a go.

I understand the desire to escape from thinking about things while you feel so awful with alcohol and over using sleeping tablets. The prospect of needing to pack for the house move must feel very overwhelming as well. Could you invite a friend to come round and do a stint with you? Or any way you could possibly afford to pay for packers so less was down for you?

I'm praying for you right now, Charlie,

Sally
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Hash » Sun Jul 20, 2014 7:16 pm

Charlie,

I am sorry you are struggling so much at the moment. I used to overdose a lot but I got some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy from someone in the NHS and it really helped me to stop as I realised my behaviour really caused harm to my husband and my parents ( I don't have children as I couldn't put them through seeing me harm)I didn't get magically better as I still harmed using another method but I am working on that one.

I am sorry I am not very familiar about feeling a little agoraphobic about going out to open spaces but I do have a friend who is very agoraphobic and I know that when she forces herself to go out she does really well and feels better so I would really encourage you to not make it a problem by keeping on going out as much as possible to those scary places.

Have you asked your psychiatrist about therapy?

I hope moving goes well, do try and break the packing down into small chunks as much as you can.

Hash
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Charlie » Mon Jul 21, 2014 12:57 am

Sorry
Last edited by Charlie on Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby sally » Mon Jul 21, 2014 6:51 pm

Charlie,

Wow! You did really well yesterday afternoon tackling packing and sorting when you were struggling with urges. I'm impressed you got through without harming.

I don't think you have become a different person. You have an illness that is treatable, even if that does take time. But I can understand why this shift into depression has been such a shock. You are right, none of us would have chosen the struggles depression and other struggles has taken us through, but I know God has taught me a lot in the process. I pray with the right support and medication that helps you to function and cope with therapy when you are offered that.

Not sleeping well really doesn't help with how we feel. Have you told your doctor how poor your sleep is? i will pray that starts to improve soon.

Sally
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Hash » Mon Jul 21, 2014 8:09 pm

Charlie,

Is the medication you are taking working? Can you ask for an increase in medication?

Well done for sorting through things for moving.

Is your hubbie a christian? How does he support you?

Not sleeping is a real bummer, I have major problems with sleep, how about taking a look at our suggestions on sleep above.

Hash
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Charlie » Mon Jul 21, 2014 10:52 pm

Sorry for upsetting anyone. I can't work out how to delete my registration to the forum so if someone can do that for me it would be helpful. God bless, Charlie
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Hash » Tue Jul 22, 2014 11:37 am

Charlie,

You haven't upset anyone at all why do you want to delete your registration?

I just removed the words of the items you used to harm so it wouldn't give others ideas. Sorry if I offended you and upset you I didn't mean to.

I don't think we can delete your registration but I will ask the other mods.

Hash
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby sally » Tue Jul 22, 2014 2:06 pm

Charlie,

I really hope you do feel able to stay using this forum.

I'm not sure where there are guidelines about what might be better not included in a post, so I doubt as a new member, there was a way you could have known that. And nothing you have posted has upset me.

How are you feeling today? I was praying for you this morning.
Sally
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Eppie » Tue Jul 22, 2014 9:36 pm

Hi Charlie
I wasn't online yday so haven't seen your posts I'm afraid and I can see they're now edited to sorry. As I don't know what they said it's really hard to comment but I can see Sally has said she wasn't upset, so please don't worry. and I can see Hash has said she took a few words out incase it triggered other people...and that's fine too...mods do that sometimes but it doesn't at all mean that you upset someone, so please don't worry.

If posting guidelines are helpful then they are in the self harmers forum, under announcements and the thread by Abbie in 2008. I only know that because I was here myself in 2008! So you wouldn't have seen those if you just joined us...but hope they are helpful if you would like to post.

God bless
E x
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Hope » Thu Jul 24, 2014 2:08 pm

I really hope you stay on the forum Charlie. It's a really supportive place to be, and has played an important part in helping me as I moved away from using cutting as a way of coping. I've had good support on other forums too but it was difficult because Christian faith wasn't allowed to be spoken about - this space is great because it's ok to be a Christian who is struggling with self harm. Don't give up, it's a good thing you have reached out for support on here, no-one is offended, words are only sometimes removed to make sure it's a safe place for people to read without getting too triggered by content. I've had things removed on forums before, but have no regrets about getting help and support here.
If anyone wants to check out my poetry on the theme of self-injury, I've created a website http://poetryscape.wordpress.com/anonym ... s-homepage
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Charlie » Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:22 am

Thank you. I think maybe everything is just a bit too raw at the moment. I've lost some friends recently since they found out about what I've been doing. It really hurt me. I know the marks on my arm and bandages make people feel uncomfortable. I really wish this wasn't happening. My faith is hanging on by fingernails. I haven't felt able to go to church in weeks because I'm so embarrassed. We are supposed to be going to New Wine in a weeks time but the thought of worshipping there is overwhelming.
Charlie
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