Hi I am new here

For and about self harmers / people with other issues

Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Keziah » Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:09 pm

Hi Charlie

It can be really hard with people that do not understand - I also lost friends, felt I was treated differently and got to the stage where I got so good at pretending there was no problem that I just kept that part of my life out of friendships. Not saying that is the answer - but long sleeves, not damaging parts of my body people could see helped me a bit. Everyone deals with it differently - we all have different ways of coping, it is what is best for each person that matters. In real life I am quite shy and tend to hide things so that is my default position.

New wine sounds a challenge, but could be helpful maybe? Have you been before so know what to expect?
Keziah
 
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby sally » Fri Jul 25, 2014 4:16 pm

Hello Charlie,

self harming is extremely hard for others to understand but it must be so painful that friends have stepped back. It is a way of surviving just how awful you feel inside, not the healthiest way clearly, but that's what we have found to do that helps in the short-term. I used to try to explain it as feeling so much pain inside that it was easier to have pain on the outside that needed looking after. Does that make sense to you at all?

Like Kezzie, I've chosen to cover-up when I'm around most people, just with close family and close friends do I show my scars. But that's just my way. I know many others who don't do that.

When do you have to decide about New Wine? Like Kezzie says, challenging but could be helpful. While you are feeling so low everything must feel completely overwhelming!

I'm praying for you every day,
Sally
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Hope » Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:16 pm

Hi Charlie, I've regularly gone to New Wine and to begin with I wore long sleeves or bangles to cover my injuries. It can be an overwhelming environment, but it was liberating to be in worship where nobody freaked even if you sob or just sit looking miserable. And I've always gone for prayer with the pastoral team. Last year there was even a seminar on self harm. If your children go to groups, then having the space to sit quietly alone with a coffee or retreat to your tent for a rest might help. Is there one person who you'll have there who can support you? I presume you're going on the second week - I'm at the first week, starting tomorrow.

Continuing to pray for you
Hope
 
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Hash » Fri Jul 25, 2014 8:56 pm

I am sorry to hear you have lost some friends cos of what has been happening. feelings still must be a little raw.

If it's any conciliation here Charlie, I really was to blame for you mentioning how you were harming because I asked you what form your self harm takes and all you were doing was replying to that. You really did nothing wrong.

If it helps I have lost friends because of my self harm too and it really really hurts.

I pray that you will be able to go with the family to New Wine in a weeks time and really enjoy it. It's good that your faith is still important to you.

Take care and I hope you stay,

Hash
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Eppie » Sun Jul 27, 2014 5:06 pm

Same here Charlie, I remember telling one person who never replied to messages or made contact again...it REALLY hurt. But there are other people who have been helpful and kind beyond my imagining so I pray that there will be some of them in your life too.
Don't brat yourself up about feeling fragile or like you're just clinging on to your faith. Sometimes life is hard and that is all we can do.
I like Hope's ideas for New Wine. I'm not there (most of my church are and it is a bit lonely here!) But I have previously been and sought prayer from the pastoral team, or at services. I've found it to be the kind of place where it's ok to cry and let things out and because people are receiving from God themselves, they aren't noticing how you are responding. I used to lose myself in the marketplace area sometimes as well and.just enjoy browsing books and cds etc or wandering around stands....
E x
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby sally » Tue Jul 29, 2014 2:24 pm

Hello Charlie,

just wondering how you have been feeling in the last few days? Have the antidepressants started to lift your mood at all or are you still very low?

What have you decided about New Wine?

I will keep praying for you, Sally
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Hope » Tue Aug 05, 2014 3:29 pm

Continuing to pray for you, and wondering how you are...
Hope
 
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Re: Hi I am new here

Postby Keziah » Sun Aug 10, 2014 7:52 pm

Hi, did you manage your trip to New Wine? Wondering how it was for you?
Keziah
 
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