Family Therapy bringing up the past * trig SH*

[Hash]

I had a session yesterday with Jean, my family therapist which really upset me, we were talking about our family tree and we've done Peter's side, that was fairly easy but coming to my side I just burst in to tears talking about 34 years of history with my family and I couldn't stop crying it was just welling up inside me and coming out as I breathed in big sobs.

My parents are overseas at the moment which doesn't help but ever since family therapy I have just wanted to hide and felt like staying away from people and definitely not talking now they are both warning signs I am hitting the danger zone but I can't talk about how I feel.

Peters worried and I am thinking I won't bother with tomorrows therapy or the meeting afterwards with the psychologists I just want to hide and I know what will deal with the feelings and if I do that one thing I loose treatment with the complex needs service for life.

Hash

[sally]

Hash,

I'm so sorry the therapy was so difficult yesterday and left you feeling overwhelmed and unsafe. And you were already feeling alone and less supported with your parents on their holiday. Might you be able to talk with Jean or one of your other therapists today to explain how at risk you feel you are?

will Peter be home to support you this w/e?

I'm praying you know the Fathers love to help you through and bring you His peace,
Sally

[Hash]

I avoided therapy today so I just stayed in my pi's all day. I can't contact Jean in between times of therapy but I can contact my individual therapist but I don't find her very helpful,I'm considering running away I just need some space I don't want to talk to anyone including Peter.

I really can't self harm it would compromise all my future treatment.

Hash

[Keziah]

Hi would it be worth stopping the family ftherapy for a whole if it is causing such distress? I am not too sure what it is but I guess I thought it was about helping 2 people work better together and deal with issues they have as a couple rather than looking at the past and issues from one oerson's family and parentsc

If it is causing you distress and danger could you ask for it to stop? Or a sabbatical from it?

Why not visit a friend for a few days if you fancy a break?

[Hash]

I don't want to stop the family therapy it is the one therapy out of all of them that works, we can decide to not focus on the family for the moment if it is upsetting me so much.

I don't have a friend I can go visit.

Hash

[Keziah]

It is good you know it works. It was just you said it was causing so much distress. Good idea to lt the therapist know some parts of it are causing you dangerous thoughts right now and to focus on different things.

[Hash]

Ill tell her next time I see her that it is causing me distress and bad thoughts and she will look into how we can modify the sessions.

Hash

[sally]

Hello Hash,

I'm praying for you for tomorrow, when Peter is out at work, that it could be a helpful, safe time for you to enjoy a bit of space.
Just to say, I ran away once (several years ago now)when I was being threatened with admission, booked into a small hotel, had my passport, but after the buzz of fleeing, reality hit, I both binged and self-harmed and realised that even in a different place, I'd still take all my problems and struggles with me. So I returned and agreed to be admitted the next day.

Sally

[Hash]

I decided after talking to SAMS and Peter that it was not the answer.

I used to run away a lot and either attempt Suicide or overdose and get hunted down by police and put in hospital. It really upset my family and my hubbie and overdosing or attempting suicide away from people didn't make it any easier I still had people who loved me and I was going to hurt them forever.

we can't run away from our problems we just have to take them day by day.

Hash