to D or not to D

For and about self harmers / people with other issues

to D or not to D

Postby churlywhirly » Fri Oct 18, 2013 8:02 pm

hi all
sorry for my silence on here
my confidentiality was somewhat violated

life has taken a bit of a turn for the worst, I have moved out of the marriage home and got my own place, there is only so many games, verbal abuse and being locked out of the apartment i can tollerate

i am now feeling beyond loney, thinking over all the words he said to me and trying to plan my next decsion to divorce or wait, or what ?
"It's something everybody wants–for someone to see the hurt done to them and set it down like it matters." – Sue Monk Kidd
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Re: to D or not to D

Postby Hash » Sat Oct 19, 2013 4:23 pm

Oh churly,

I am sorry your confidentiality was somewhat violated and I am sorry you have been through so much.

How's it going with communicating with home? Are you still in the same job?

I am sorry your lonely and struggling with whether to divorce him or not, I think it's too hard for us to advise you any way just because we haven't been there all these months and we don't know the details. We couldn't make a qualified decision and really only you know the answer to the D word.

Are you planning on staying out there long term?

I do care churly I really do and god cares too.

Hash
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Re: to D or not to D

Postby Keziah » Sat Oct 19, 2013 7:32 pm

Sorry to hear things worse. But lovely to hear from you.

It sounds like a tough situation. You need to do what is best for you and your future. If that involves breaking all ties with him, then I hope it is as easy as possible and will give you the freedom to move on and forwards. You have given it a lot of time and effort but I guess whilst you live in another culture away from support etc it must make it so much harder. Sometimes we cannot change other people but we can always change how we react, how we respond and decide what we want and decide the best path for that. I have no idea what that is for you. However, I do know you are struggling. Have family members been helpful? Are there people there that will help you do what is needed.

It is good to hear you have your own place and that space you need.
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Re: to D or not to D

Postby sally » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:54 pm

Hello,

it was so lovely to hear from you, though I am sorry have gone through such a horrible time and are still struggling. It does sound a very difficult situation.

Do you think there is any way of reconciliation between you and Mr or maybe even something like couples therapy? If that sounds so remote that you can't imagine that will ever be possible then your choice to divorce may become clearer to decide.

I am praying for you,
Sally
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