Update

For and about self harmers / people with other issues

Update

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Thu Sep 19, 2013 10:09 pm

Hey!

So I thought I'd update everyone on health and life.

I did manage to get my neurology appointment brought forward. So thank you to all who were praying for that. It was a strange meeting. My dad was with me and he's getting increasingly frustrated with my consultants ability to give 'wooly' answers. My consultant is a very odd little man. Don't get me wrong, I'm convinced he knows his speciality inside out, but when it comes to complex cases like me, he just doesn't know what to do. He spent the majority of my appointment trying to convince me this is all made up and I'm basically being uncooperative, which I think is a bit rude considering everything I've had to go through and I've done it without questioning, until now and trying to convince my dad to convince me that a psychiatry referral is what I need. He kept this up until he realised we weren't going to go to psychiatry and in the end has given me the option if invasive ICP monitoring, in the form of a bolt being inserted through my skull. This tells me that my consultant doesn't actually believe that this is in my head. If he was convinced I was making it up, he wouldn't be offering me brain surgery! I have another appointment in 5 weeks and I will be telling my consultant to get me referred to the neuro-surgeon again so I can have this surgery. Unfortunately this won't actually relieve any of my symptoms, but hopefully it will give a clearer idea of what is going on beneath my skull.

I've had a strange week. It's been full of highs and lows. My mood had been quite good, it had elevated since the last time I posted, but I'm aware of it dipping again. I'm just hoping its a dip and not a downward spiral. I think with everything I've got going on, I'm allowed to have a few bad days, right?!

Love, Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: Update

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:34 pm

Hey!

Since my last post, my condition has deteriorated further. I've been coming off my medication for three weeks. As of Wednesday, I'll be off it completely.

Last night I ended up at the out of hours GP service, who phoned the on call neuro who wanted me to be admitted to my local hospital where there are no neurologists. Makes complete sense...right?! They said they'd phone this morning.

Actually got a phone call from the on call neuro this morning! I've to be prepared to go in to the neuro ward in a few days, when a bed becomes available. I will get LP#16 and probably the ICP bolt as an emergency. There are currently 10 emergencies ahead of me, so it could be a few days. I'd appreciate prayer for a bed to become available ASAP, as I'm beyond the unbearable pain stage.

Thanks lovely people. :)
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: Update

Postby sally » Mon Oct 07, 2013 2:27 pm

wow! The pain must be excrutiating without any meds to relieve! YOu poor thing!

I will definitely be praying for you and that a bed becomes available for you super fast. I pray the bolt op does go ahead and will bring you some relief.

Go really gently til you are admitted!

Sally
sally
 
Posts: 2037
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:36 pm
Location: LONDON

Re: Update

Postby Eppie » Mon Oct 07, 2013 8:09 pm

really really sorry that it is so tough Ruth. Praying for you.
E x
Eppie
 
Posts: 2440
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2005 8:31 am

Re: Update

Postby Hash » Mon Oct 07, 2013 10:08 pm

Praying for you my friend!
Hash
 
Posts: 2886
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:29 pm

Re: Update

Postby Keziah » Mon Oct 07, 2013 10:28 pm

Oh so sorry this has happened. Know they were looking at offering treatment but guess it is going a bit quicker than planned. Hope bed and theatre slot available very soon for you. Keep us updated when you can. X
Keziah
 
Posts: 2886
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:42 am

Re: Update

Postby sally » Tue Oct 08, 2013 1:38 pm

Still praying for you,
Sal
sally
 
Posts: 2037
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:36 pm
Location: LONDON

Re: Update

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Tue Oct 08, 2013 2:04 pm

Hey!

Thank you for your prayers. I'm still waiting for the phone call. With there being 10 emergencies ahead of me, I would think it would take a good few days.

My mums aunt was admitted to hospital this morning, a different hospital from the one I'm going in to, and my mum is really stressed. So I'm trying to be helpful, but it's so hard when I'm feeling so ill.

Things are out my control, and I'm feeling it. I like to be in control, but in this, I just can't.

Will try and keep you updated as best as possible.

Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: Update

Postby sally » Wed Oct 09, 2013 2:31 pm

I wouldn't like the not knowing when either!

Sorry you are in so much pain and feeling ill all the time.
and sorry about your aunt too.

Praying your turn comes up very quickly,
Sally
sally
 
Posts: 2037
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:36 pm
Location: LONDON

Re: Update

Postby Hash » Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:37 pm

Let us know when you go in so we can pray all goes well and the docs are nice.

Hash
Hash
 
Posts: 2886
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:29 pm

Re: Update

Postby Keziah » Thu Oct 10, 2013 7:22 pm

Do you have any news? Hope it is not too long now.
Keziah
 
Posts: 2886
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:42 am

Re: Update

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Thu Oct 10, 2013 9:07 pm

Sorry, I did mean to reply.

I got the call yesterday to come in for 10am today, which I did. I've had nothing done, and I've to have an LP tomorrow. I will try and keep you updated as best I can, if I can't do it, I'm sure if I asked Hash, she'd post on my behalf.

Sorry for the delay.

Love, Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: Update

Postby Princess Snowflake » Thu Oct 10, 2013 10:10 pm

Praying for you xx
''I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past'' - Winston Churchill
Princess Snowflake
 
Posts: 237
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 12:25 pm

Re: Update

Postby sally » Fri Oct 11, 2013 1:15 pm

I'm glad to hear you have now been admitted. I pray this time the doctors will go ahead with the surgery as you want. I pray you are surrounded by kind nurses and doctors.

Thinking of you so much,
Sally
sally
 
Posts: 2037
Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2008 1:36 pm
Location: LONDON

Re: Update

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Wed Oct 16, 2013 4:00 pm

Hey!

So I'm still in hospital and nothing has happened except a botched LP. I'm now waiting for an X-ray guided LP.

I'm still in alot of pain so disappointed with the standard of care. Will try and keep you updated.

Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: Update

Postby Keziah » Wed Oct 16, 2013 8:17 pm

Oh dear. At least they believe you have a physical illness as they would not keep you in otherwise. Hope next LP goes better. You able to sleep and rest enough?
Keziah
 
Posts: 2886
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:42 am

Re: Update

Postby Hash » Wed Oct 16, 2013 8:59 pm

try and stay positive.

Hash
Hash
 
Posts: 2886
Joined: Sun Nov 18, 2007 10:29 pm

Re: Update

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:29 am

I think my LP will this morning. I've signed the consent form, so it's just a waiting game now.

Will let you know what happens!
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: Update

Postby Keziah » Thu Oct 17, 2013 5:10 pm

Hope you have had it and it helps
Keziah
 
Posts: 2886
Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 9:42 am

Re: Update

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Sun Oct 20, 2013 1:23 pm

I had my LP on Thursday. Pressure was up and they brought it down. It felt great for a few hours, but I'm now worse than ever.

They refuse to treat me because my pressure isn't high enough to warrant treatment, but that doesn't really cover the fact that I'm in constant agony.

I'm struggling because I don't feel I'm getting anywhere and I just feel like crying all the time. I have demanded a second opinion from another health board so hopefully that will be soon!

There is a whole story that goes along with this, but I can't bear to write it all down right now. Please just pray.

Thanks,

Love Ruth xx
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Next

Return to Self Harmers

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron