Really struggled unexpectedly

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Really struggled unexpectedly

Postby asc » Fri Aug 23, 2013 4:05 pm

In the last three weeks I've had two four-day spells away. The first was a 'Be Creative' retreat, led by Helen Warwick, who has written a couple of good books. I've been on two of her retreats before, and the Lord always seems to bring out something really helpful - without actual direction! It was the same this time - and I know I have something else to work on.

I had a week back, then went on my 'Digital Days' course at High Leigh. I found it hard to get things ready for the competitions, so only entered in three out of the four. As soon as I arrived, the urges started, and when I was alone in my room, if it wasn't for the fact that I didn't have a 'tool' with me, I would definitely have harmed.

I think part of the problem was that all our previous courses have been at Sunbury Court, which was already a very special place to me before I even became a Salvationist. (Another Christian group had a weekend conference there, where we had a pretty dramatic encounter with the Lord.) I haven't really come to terms with its closure. On arrival at High Leigh I was taken to a room about as far away from Reception etc. as it could be - first floor, with a shower designed for those with mobility problems. Lovely room. but I hate showers. Apparently all the rooms are shower only. No problem remembering my room number though - my favourite psalm - 139. After the first day, although I worked out the outdoor shortcut to Reception, I learned to follow the signs inside meticulously, so I found my way around.

On our third evening I was cornered by someone from another large group asking why the Salvation Army did photography workshops (which they considered a waste of money)! I'm not the best person to ask - as half our group were 'lifelong Salvationists' - but I told them how some corps had camera clubs which attracted outsiders, who then came to the Lord, and also how we sometimes needed to take photographs for our magazines etc. - and needed to do it well. Then I was asked questions about open air meetings! I pointed out the problems of being heard etc. and said that I considered both photography and music as like the changing bait in fishing. When I used to walk along the canal at Hythe, I was struck by how different the bait and rods/poles were from that which my grandfather used - but the aim was the same - to catch as many fish as possible!

I still had strong urges, but they are less since I came home. I've just been out and adopted a rat who couldn't be homed earlier because of 'challenging behaviour' - i.e. being scared stiff and using her best weapons whenever she felt threatened! Something in her rejection resonated with me - so Poppy is now in a cage here - via getting loose in my bag! Somehow my plans for my 'mischief' are lessening my urges - they need love, and I can give it.
Ann www.annspoetry.weebly.com / www. annssmallpets.weebly.com
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12v9
"You are God's masterpiece." Ephesians 2v10 God doesn't make junk!
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Location: Tunbridge Wells, Kent

Re: Really struggled unexpectedly

Postby sally » Fri Aug 23, 2013 5:11 pm

Hello Ann,

I'm glad the be creative retreat has hinted at a new area for you to think about. But I'm really sorry urges became so strong. You did really well to get through that time when you were struggling so much.

And don't beat yourself up about not doing all 4 of the competitions. Getting ready for the 3 sounds plenty enough. I like your thoughts about the fishing.

And now you have a new mischievous rat to help settle in. It's good to know that urges are easing and I pray your back settles down to be a bit more comfortable for you.

Sally
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Re: Really struggled unexpectedly

Postby asc » Fri Aug 23, 2013 9:11 pm

My back isn't too bad, but it is my polymyalgia rheumatica in my thighs which is being such a nuisance.

The rat who has been staying with a friend of a friend, to keep her lone rat company, came back to me unconscious today and had to have his final injection.

Poppy is in her sputnik house now - she's only had a tube before. Nearly time for some food on a spoon. She should soon learn that biting it isn't a good idea! I now have 8 rats who need pretty intensive socialisation!
Ann www.annspoetry.weebly.com / www. annssmallpets.weebly.com
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12v9
"You are God's masterpiece." Ephesians 2v10 God doesn't make junk!
asc
 
Posts: 2581
Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2008 1:36 pm
Location: Tunbridge Wells, Kent

Re: Really struggled unexpectedly

Postby Keziah » Fri Aug 23, 2013 10:35 pm

Ann I have never heard of a Sputnik house before but it sounds amazing!! A free rat in your handbag made me smile so much though, but hope all was ok! She definitely sounds like she needs lots of attention.

I totally hear you about High Leigh as it since they added all those rooms it is such a trek to the main rooms!! Twice I had no en suite and once only a hook to hang my clothes on; not my favourite place at all!

I guess you are tired with 2 very different trips away so hope you have some time to relax coming up.
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Re: Really struggled unexpectedly

Postby asc » Sat Aug 24, 2013 12:28 pm

She was in my shopping bag - inside one small box and one fairly big one - both no problem to rat teeth!

I had fun with one of my small girls this morning. Her abscess had re-accumulated and needed draining, but the vet appointments were fully booked. The abscess was very close to her teeth! Why didn't the Lord give us four hands? She struggled, escaped and was caught by the tail! I dumped her in a carrier and put on a pair of thickish gloves. I held her firmly in my right hand. She wriggled and really screamed - it's a horrible noise - but I managed to sort the abscess out with my left hand and make it so it couldn't re-accumulate, all without being bitten! She's now back in her cage and settled down. One lot of vet expenses less! If I'd been brave enough then I could have saved expenses with Aslan, as the situation was identical - but he wasn't quite as wriggly.

Feeling better today, apart from my coccyx playing up
Ann www.annspoetry.weebly.com / www. annssmallpets.weebly.com
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12v9
"You are God's masterpiece." Ephesians 2v10 God doesn't make junk!
asc
 
Posts: 2581
Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2008 1:36 pm
Location: Tunbridge Wells, Kent

Re: Really struggled unexpectedly

Postby Keziah » Sun Aug 25, 2013 10:31 pm

Sounds impressive Ann!! My little one adores rabbits, I can so see where that will end up!!

How is your pain management, is it under better control now? Did you get your medications more easily sorted as well?
Keziah
 
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Re: Really struggled unexpectedly

Postby asc » Sun Aug 25, 2013 10:48 pm

My pain is a real nuisance when sitting, but otherwise more manageable than sometimes. I am out of my strong pain-relievers, but am not sure how much they actually help, and it's good to leave them off. My pregabalin remains the same - apart from doubling on Wednesday - but it's just that the number of tablets seems ridiculous, when it could be fewer stronger ones, which I suspect would be cheaper for the NHS. They are very expensive, and at one time we couldn't have them in our area.

I am having to practise forgiveness for some painful comments on my rat forum posts. I know I have acted unwisely in the past, but I think I have learned my lesson the hard way, very recently. Some members don't seem to believe that. I know what I was doing when I took on Poppy will mean four 'problem rats', but progress with two of them in the last few days has been amazing.
Ann www.annspoetry.weebly.com / www. annssmallpets.weebly.com
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12v9
"You are God's masterpiece." Ephesians 2v10 God doesn't make junk!
asc
 
Posts: 2581
Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2008 1:36 pm
Location: Tunbridge Wells, Kent


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