My GP is leaving ** trig Sui**

[sally]

Hash,

I can hear how desperate you are and how strong the destructive urges are.
I'm sure it feels like things are always going to feel this unbearable but I can promise you it won't always stay this hard.

I'm very glad Father God kept you safe on Saturday night but I do understand your response that it didn't.
I'm still praying for you,
Sally

[Hash]

Thank you for your understanding

I am asking for phased discharge tomorrow but I am worried during the phasing I will carry out my plan

[Eppie]

Hash, have you shared that plan with someone? It sounds important to try and do that.
Praying for you. E x

[sally]

Hash,

I'm surprised you are already talking about discharge while the suicidal thoughts and plans are so strong.
Was there a meeting today for you to start discussing that issue? Please don't try to pretend things are safer than they are.
I think Eppies suggestion to try to talk to someone about the plans you have at the moment is a good one.

Still praying for you,
Sally

[sally]

Hello Hash,

how are you feeling today? how did discussions go yesterday about the phased discharge?
What urges have been around this morning?

I pray things are coming less of a battle and less intense for you and that Father God surrounds you with His love and peace.
sally

[Hash]

my phased discharge plans for the week went well but when it came to the weekend at home I reallly fell down. I could not cope with the demands of being out in the community and I am really suicidal.

I am planning and I am in trouble.

Please pray for my ward round tomorrow.

Hash

[Eppie]

Please try and be honest on the ward round tomorrow Hash. It sounds as if perhaps they need to give some more support...
Praying for you
E x

[asc]

[quote="Eppie"]Please try and be honest on the ward round tomorrow Hash. It sounds as if perhaps they need to give some more support...
Praying for you
E x[/quote]

I'm so sorry. I'm praying for you.

Remember, you have been well before, and you can be again. Do take care.

Ann xx

[sally]

Hello Hash,

I was very worried for you last week. Sorry the w/e became so difficult.
Have you had the ward round yet today? Will you try to say something of this plan and how scared you are that you will act on it.
I pray you manage to keep yourself safe.

Sally

[Hash]

I was kept in with no leave and if I try and leave I get sectioned. I was really upset after ward round .

[sally]

Hash,

How are you feeling today?

What caused you to feel so upset after the ward round?
It sounds as if they have finally realised how unsafe you are at the moment. If you are able, I advise you to remain unsectioned as it is easier to regain leave when you are feeling a bit better if section papers don't have to get signed.

Are you able to have things to do to try to distract if the mood takes you, maybe arty, DVDs, favourite stories? I'm sorry the acute wards are such volatile places to be. I pray you can develop some rapport with some of the staff.

Best wishes, Sally

[Keziah]

Hash sorry you are not on a phased return yet. Is this a hospital you have been in before. Although hard I guess if you are attempting things on the ward they cannot give you leave until you are more stable. Are there activities on the ward or is it a typical NHS ward with just a tv and a shelf of books? If so could you have some crayons or art activities there to help or nice magazines etc?

What are the plans at present? Are you allowed out to your therapy?

Hope today has been easier for you. Avoiding sectioning is a good idea.

My only thought was had you begun reducing medication? If so is this a cause of this episode, as last time you stopped some medication I think you ended up in hospital, if I remember rightly.

Do you have any holiday to look forward to, or no plans yet? I find having nice things to plan for helpful.

[Hash]

It's hard to type on an iPhone.

I had begun reducing meds and this could be a factor. I'm back on the normal dose now.

Nothing whatsoever to do in the ward but I' have a distraction box full of goodies. It's in the office and I can get things from it at any time day or night.

I was upset after ward round cos it made me feel confined when all I want to do is end my life

I'm so upset at the mo

[sally]

Hash,

how are you feeling today? How's your sleep?
I understand the faff of having to post on a mobile!

I wonder how long it will take to build back up to a therapeutic dose of your different meds? Are there still strong urges to end your life, or DSH? I'm really glad you've got a goodies box to raid to try to pass the time. Do puzzle books ever help you? Just something I've not heard you mention that I use sometimes.

I pray each day for you,
Sally

[Hash]

Thank you Sally for replying and praying so faithfully. I could not go to a family wedding today as still not safe outside. Puzzle books are good yes I have them in my box.

I'm still heavily suicidal.

[Keziah]

Your activity box sounds a good idea. Is this a ward you have been on before?
Sorry you missed the wedding but as you are having such a tough time then I am sure that it was seriously considered what is best for you.

Has the increase of medication up to what you were on before begun or started to help? Perhaps when back on those medications those strong emotions will abate. Hope so.

[Hash]

My husband is on meltdown he can't cope

[Eppie]

oh Hash, I'm sorry hubby is struggling to cope. Is that difficult for you too?
Are you in a hospital near home or is he coming a long way to visit?
E x

[sally]

Hi Hash,

how are you feeling today?
I'm really sorry Mr is finding things overwhelming. Has he been able to talk with doctors or would that not help?

Sally

[Keziah]

Hash does Your husband gets any support himself? Could he ask your mental health team for a review of his carer's assessment or have one if he not had one? When I was really struggling we paid for some private counselling, outside of the NHS, for my husband which helped him.

How is it for you? Have they suggested when you can have some leave?