What to say to little people about scars

For and about self harmers / people with other issues

What to say to little people about scars

Postby Hash » Wed Sep 26, 2012 12:12 pm

I've just joined a new house group and the leaders have children. I went for a meal with the leaders last week and wore mid length sleeves just so we could tackle the scar problem before the summer comes again. The leaders were very happy for me to show my arms when I wanted to but said I would need to be able to say something simple and honest to their children. They said their children were used to talking honestly as they had a friend with schizophrenia and they were used to talking with her about her hallucinations, she would say Ive got my ( funny word) back again.

I am not sure what I would say to them. Maybe something like : When I feel sad I hurt myself to make myself feel better. It's not a good thing to do.

Not sure what else to say. maybe: Sometimes when I have pain inside I manage it by hurting myself. It's not a good thing to do as It makes you hurt more.

I don't know, any ideas would be appreciated.

Hash
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Re: What to say to little people about scars

Postby sally » Wed Sep 26, 2012 12:59 pm

I like your ideas Hash. How old are the children? The parents sound willing to support you in whatever you decide to tell them, so that's really good.

My niece and nephew have always known me with some scars, though the numbers increased over the years. I got away with saying that when I was ill I had cuts on my arms and because they have grown up seeing them they have accepted that. My niece was more curious about newer injuries and I would always try to hide any dressings. But I've been surprised over the last few years that she hasn't asked more. I would tell her more along the lines you are planning now she is older. They have also known that I get ill at times and have sad days.

My godson knows I have Eeyore days when everything feels overwhelming and difficult and I might cancel arrangements, but that's more to do with depression.
It's definitely to be a bit ready with answers. Maybe after saying something you could ask them if they get sad sometimes or about other emotions to turn it back to them and to distract them from lots of questions?

Only my ideas and I'd be interested to hear from others.
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Re: What to say to little people about scars

Postby Keziah » Wed Sep 26, 2012 3:08 pm

Like your ideas Hash. Perhaps check with the leaders before you tell them.

Thankfully I managed to avoid my arms most of the time so it is not such an issue, although wore long sleeves when necessary and covered up dressings, purely because for me I never wanted people to see and still don't. So therefore I have never had this dilemma.

Great you have a housegroup to go to and supportive leaders, they sound lovely having you over to dinner and being so open. So I am sure whatever you say will be supported by them.
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Re: What to say to little people about scars

Postby Hash » Wed Sep 26, 2012 10:53 pm

Ok I will talk to them about it before we meet next.

I have scars on my neck too kezzie so they are hard to avoid seeing. I don't show them all the time and definitely not when I have dressings. In the summer though my arms are uncovered on hot days.

I like your idea of eeyore days Sally, that is such a nice saying.

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