Doubts

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Re: Doubts

Postby sally » Tue Oct 09, 2012 1:09 pm

Hello Philippa,

I'm sorry your sleep is so bad and you have been feeling so upset. Sounds like you have a kind landlady. Just say as much as you want when you have that chat. It always takes a lot of courage to start talking about the harder stuff, but I know that sometimes, by talking with someone you feel safe with, that can really help.

About the issue of finding a GP who would support you, I may have said this before but I wrote a letter to the doctor I first decided to talk with about being depressed and the battle I was having with food. That helped me go to the appointment cos I knew the important stuff had already be said. It wasn't all perfect, but it did help me actually go! Just another idea!

Praying for you right now, Sally
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Re: Doubts

Postby Philippa » Tue Oct 16, 2012 12:11 pm

I ended up taking the rest of the week off work, which I don't feel great about. I met with a friend from my homegroup for a cup of tea last week, just wanting to get out of the house, and I had a bit of a meltdown on her. I feel very embarrassed because she is not someone that I know particularly well and I don't really make a habit of crying in front of other people. She made a GP appointment for me (despite my protesting) which I did go to at the end of last week. He gave me some stuff to help me sleep, as by that point I was so tired I could barely form a sentence, and he asked me to go back and see him later this week. He knows a fair bit already now because he asked quite pertinent questions. I was glad he was so switched on because it was much easier to just nod than to try and explain things.

My next shift at work is tomorrow. I am feeling very worked up about going back. I'm not sure if I can do it but I know that I can hardly hide forever, can I?

Philippa
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Re: Doubts

Postby Keziah » Tue Oct 16, 2012 12:40 pm

Hi, hope the medication has helped your body get a rest and back into a rhytym. dr's don't usually continue prescribing medication for sleep as it is addictive and stops working the longer you try it so don't worry if you don't get more of it.

all people are off work ill at times, especially at this time of year, so don't think your going back is any different to someone off with a chest infection etc. hope it goes well for you. I find once at work is better than the anticipation.
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Re: Doubts

Postby sally » Tue Oct 16, 2012 1:46 pm

Phillipa,

sounds like you've found a GP who will help you at last! Well done going along once it got made.

I'm sorry things are all feeling so overwhelming but very impressed you arranged to meet this 'friend' from your homegroup. I know what you mean about not showing emotions or wishing you could chose with whom or where, but sometimes it all comes tumbling out. She sounds as if she coped fine and was wise, making that GP appointment for you. Try to let go of your embarrassment and remember how you would want to help her if the situation had been reversed.

I'll be praying for you as you think through about work. Or maybe you've done enough thinking and just need a decision one way or the other cos anxiety will just go on til you know.

love Sally
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Re: Doubts

Postby Philippa » Wed Oct 17, 2012 3:03 pm

Thanks both for your replies.

It was my first day back at work today. Keziah, you were right, the anticipation was horrible but it was no problem at all when I got there. All was going well - and I think actually it was good for me to be doing something productive - then I started to feel a bit funny and passed out on the floor. In front of a patient. I've been sent home and told to take tomorrow off as well. My landlady was lovely and came to pick me up as I didn't feel up to driving (which took 2 hours out of her working day). I am so embarrassed about the whole thing.

Philippa
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Re: Doubts

Postby sally » Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:27 pm

Phillipa,

You poor thing! You did really well getting yourself in to work and I'm glad it was going so well.

Have you fainted before? What do you think that was down to? You mentioned a patient so was someone able to check your blood pressure? It was kind of your nieghbour to come and collect you. If it wasn't possible she wouldn't have agreed and I guess you could have got a taxi. But the personal touch is much nicer and I reckon you deserve a bit of looking after!

Go gently tomorrow, Sally
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Re: Doubts

Postby Keziah » Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:33 pm

Phillipa - glad it was ok when you got there. Until you fainted that is. Can you get checked out physically to see why that is happening. Are you eating and drinking enough to keep you ok? hope answers are found soon.
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Re: Doubts

Postby Philippa » Wed Oct 17, 2012 7:52 pm

Thank you both for being so kind. I'm so upset as it felt like a massive deal to get there - to be sent home again I'm so embarrassed. I bumped into the manager as I was leaving and she told me she's signed me off for tomorrow and to give her a ring in the afternoon to let her know what's going on. So everyone is being very kind and understanding.

I have another GP appointment in the morning anyway, so will run it by him then. I have fainted quite a few times in the past eighteen months or so but any tests that they've done have all come back fine. I was quite warm before I fainted but I'm not sure I was hot enough for that to be the reason. One of my colleagues took my blood pressure/pulse shortly afterwards and both were abormally high, so I'm not sure what that's all about.

Philippa
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Re: Doubts

Postby Keziah » Thu Oct 18, 2012 11:51 am

Phillipa - let them know what your pulse and blood pressure were, as it sounds a physical cause to your fainting. Get them to do more tests, repeat tests, anything!!
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Re: Doubts

Postby sally » Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:19 pm

Hiya,

how are you feeling today? Hope the GP is easy to talk with today and you start to feel you can get some help with how you are feeling and investigations in to the fainting.

Try to take it easy, Sally
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Re: Doubts

Postby Hash » Sun Oct 21, 2012 12:27 pm

Hey Hun,

How did it go at the gp surgery? Is the fainting anything to do with the eating? I know when I was really struggling with eating I kept fainting mainly in the mornings.

Thinking of you,

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