This is awkward...

For and about self harmers / people with other issues

Re: This is awkward...

Postby Hash » Mon Mar 12, 2012 1:44 pm

remember hun its a special day today so try and enjoy it.

If your unwell make sure you get checked out and remember your mood will be affected by how unwelll you are.

Hash
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Tue Mar 13, 2012 1:34 pm

Thanks.

Feeling a little better physically. Managed to eat some food yesterday and this morning and feel okish.

I'm feeling pretty confused though. Just doing everything I can to keep things normal. My harming has increased again and I'm scared it's just going to get worse.

Going into college this afternoon, just to be out the house.

Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby sally » Tue Mar 13, 2012 3:23 pm

Hello Ruth,

hope your afternoon at college goes ok. Sounds like it might be helpful to get out for a bit so well done for making yourself do that.
Sorry to hear that you are hurting yourself more. The fact that you are noticing it and are aware of the risk of allowing it to escalate may just help you limit that a little, but I will be praying for you.

I'm not surprised you are so confused. Your relationship with your birth mother has been very complicated and your emotions must be all over the place. Try to allow yourself time and accept when your emotions change suddenly. It's probably all just part of the process of coming to terms with her death.

i'm praying about the situation with your niece as well,
best wishes, Sally
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby Eppie » Wed Mar 14, 2012 9:27 pm

I think its' really normal to be confused about all that's going on Ruth. Have you been able to tell anyone about your harming? Do you think you could?
E x
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Wed Mar 14, 2012 10:46 pm

Hi

I've not been specific about my harming to anyone. Just that it happens, but not when. It's been arranged that my lecturer at college and the support for learning person and I will meet up every Tuesday to discuss things which I'm hoping will be helpful.

The funeral is this Friday at 3.30pm, so I'll be glad when that's over. Spoke to my brother tonight, he is carrying the coffin, which if I'm honest has made me feel a bit weird...

He also informed me that he has just met my birth father. In fact, was sitting with him and his mother. As if this week hasn't been stressful enough...

Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: This is awkward...

Postby Eppie » Fri Mar 16, 2012 9:03 am

I hope you get through today Ruth and have the support you need
E x
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby sally » Fri Mar 16, 2012 8:16 pm

Hey Ruth,

praying for you now. You've made it through the service, maybe met your birth father and you need to know that your father God never changes and is always with you and loves you tonnes.

Thinking of you lots as you get through this w/e,

Sally
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby Hash » Wed Mar 21, 2012 3:46 pm

How are you today ruthee
Hash
 
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Fri Mar 30, 2012 4:18 pm

Hey!

I thought I had replied a few days ago, but I obviously forgot to 'post' what I had written. Sorry!

I've been really struggling. Been breaking down in class and have been sent home several times. I'm off for the next two weeks and I'm freaking out as I really rely on my meetings with my lecturer and support person.

My harming has increased, and I am slowly destroying myself.

I'm having second thoughts about going to uni. I tried to speak to my friend about it and she basically said that she won't allow me not to go to uni, which I found really hard to take. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. I'm so confused.

Anyway, just letting you know where I'm at.

Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: This is awkward...

Postby asc » Fri Mar 30, 2012 11:03 pm

Praying for you. XXX
Ann www.annspoetry.weebly.com / www. annssmallpets.weebly.com
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12v9
"You are God's masterpiece." Ephesians 2v10 God doesn't make junk!
asc
 
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Location: Tunbridge Wells, Kent

Re: This is awkward...

Postby sally » Wed Apr 04, 2012 9:16 am

Hello Ruth,

how are you? Has the break from college been helpful for you? I hope you've been able to rest a bit but pray it isn't giving you too much time alone with destructive thoughts and urges.

Sorry, i picked up your post but am slow to reply. I am praying for you and you are in my thoughts each day,
Sally
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:18 am

Hi,

Thank you for your prayers. They are appreciated.

I had plans for my holiday, get loads of things done and finish up everything before going back. Well my nice plan hasn't gone the way I wanted. I have ended up in hospital with an infected gall bladder due to blockage and I'm scheduled in theatre early this afternoon.

Will post when I feel a little better.

Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: This is awkward...

Postby Hash » Wed Apr 04, 2012 8:34 pm

Just to let you know in case your worrying Ruth's op went okay and she's out of theatre and ok as ok can be

Hash
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Thu Apr 05, 2012 6:56 am

Thanks Hash for updating everyone.

I'm feeling a little better. Still sick and headachy, but should be fine. My obs and oxygen sats are low, so I might need to stay in another day, but should be out by weekend.

I'm just going back to sleep now, shattered!

Will keep you updated.

Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: This is awkward...

Postby sally » Thu Apr 05, 2012 12:45 pm

Ruth,

I've been thinking of you lots. Hope you start to feel better soon but take your time to rest and recover. Your body will need it and the aneasthetic takes time to work out of your system.

Did docs just tackle one stone or have they now taken out your gall bladder?

Praying for you now, Sally
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby Keziah » Thu Apr 05, 2012 5:16 pm

Ruth - you said you had not been feeling well, hope that this operation has fixed the problem and that you are soon much better. x
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby Hash » Thu Apr 05, 2012 8:41 pm

Rest Easy my friend,

Make sure you ask them in the morning what they need you to do and what your not permitted to do and for how long.

Make sure you get good enough painkillers none of this buscopan stuff.

Take it easy don't rush to get on your feet youve had a major operation.

Hash
Hash
 
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Re: This is awkward...

Postby asc » Fri Apr 06, 2012 6:24 pm

[quote="Hash"]Rest Easy my friend,

Make sure you ask them in the morning what they need you to do and what your not permitted to do and for how long.

Make sure you get good enough painkillers none of this buscopan stuff.

Take it easy don't rush to get on your feet youve had a major operation.

Hash[/quote]

Take care - and I'd say painkillers AND antispasmodics if necessary!
Ann www.annspoetry.weebly.com / www. annssmallpets.weebly.com
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Corinthians 12v9
"You are God's masterpiece." Ephesians 2v10 God doesn't make junk!
asc
 
Posts: 2581
Joined: Sun Apr 27, 2008 1:36 pm
Location: Tunbridge Wells, Kent

Re: This is awkward...

Postby Beautifully_Broken » Fri Apr 06, 2012 9:37 pm

Hi

I will post when I feel a little better, but I've just seen the doctor who said I should get home tomorrow. I was supposed to get home yesterday, but I've picked up a chest infection so that's delayed me getting out.

I've not been getting decent pain relief, but I'm surviving. Really hoping to be able to get to church for our Easter morning service, but I'll just have to wait and see.

Will update when I get home and I'm feeling a wee bit more normal!!

Lots of love,

Ruth x
With Jesus I can take it,
With Him I know I can stand,
No matter what may come my way,
My life is in your hands.

It's lonely when you don't even know yourself...
Beautifully_Broken
 
Posts: 1066
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:24 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: This is awkward...

Postby sally » Sat Apr 07, 2012 4:25 pm

Thinking of you lots Ruth.

Day of getting home can be exhausting. I hope the pain starts to ease so you can get a bit more comfortable.

See how you feel tomorrow for the Easter Service. Would you be able to get a lift if you did feel well enough?

Love, Sally
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